Do you need to take or share power?

Reading and running a room

Imagine you had an augmented reality device that could show power in a room. Now imagine a meeting where a person or team is trying to close a deal with a potential client. With your naked eye, you can see the slides, and everyone present, in their seats or on a video screen.

Now imagine if you could hold up an AR device that highlights where the power is and how that power shifts during the meeting. Even what kind of power it is; a green swirl for social capital and relational power, a blue wave of demonstrated competence, a red curlicue of white privilege.

What if you could impact how that power moves around the room?

Last week I did a presentation training session for an ad agency. I focused on the things you would expect to find in a training about giving effective presentations. But I realized how much of the content is actually about power. Who needs to hold onto it, who needs to take more, and who should be sharing it or giving it away.

This training was about a specific type of presentation – a team presentation to a client that you are trying to convince to do something. Hire your company. Buy your creative, strategic or media recommendations.

You can find lots of content about the skills you need to present, negotiate, sell, or facilitate more effectively. I write content about that. But to master those skills you need to understand the power dynamics at play. You need to know how to tell a story, of course. But you also need to run a room and deal with bad behavior.

Years ago, I was presenting to a large tech company in the Seattle area. The four of us on the team had worked hard on the presentation. We gave them some of our IP for free (not a tactic I recommend) and rehearsed how we would tell them the story of why they should hire us.

The decision maker showed up twenty five minutes late. They were all looking at their devices through most of the meeting. When they did speak to us it was a fusillade of misogyny, arrogance and condescension. I wish now that we had walked out. We didn’t get the business; we didn’t even get a call back.

The same pitch team presented in person to another big tech company. All six people from the client side never looked up from their laptops to see the slides we were presenting with, yes, more creative work we had done for free. They were sitting across from each other on a table up on a dais, while I stood below in a kind of pit in front of a large screen where our beautiful work was displayed in vibrant color, but all I saw were six people in profile doing their email on their laptops.

In those two presentations I had zero power. Our imaginary AR device would have watched any power I had leaching out of me along with my self-respect and confidence.

Now I know things.

Ways to own your power:

·      Hold your ground. Keep your feet on the floor, speak clearly and concisely. Take up space. If you are a woman, a person of color, or any of the other categories of human beings who are not granted authority in a professional setting, understand that it might take a couple of minutes to get the audience past their surprise at you taking up space. Try to find a receptive face in the audience and present to that person.

·      Stay grounded. If you or someone on your team is treated as badly as we were in those presentations don’t get thrown. You are good at what you do, and some tech bros’ inability to understand that isn’t on you.

Ways to get power back:

·      Name it. State what is happening.

“I see that you are all engaged on your laptops right now. What would need to change to get you to look at the screen for a few moments so I can show you the spec creative you asked us to do?”

“I’m seeing that everyone has their cameras off. It’s challenging to present to what feels like an empty room – could I ask you to turn on your cameras?”

·      Get up and move around. In an in person setting, just standing up and walking over to a white board or sticking up a big Post-it and writing something down can get people to engage, or at least lift their eyes for a moment. When I am facilitating, and a participant is being disruptive in some way I will move over and stand closer to them and wait until they re-engage. I have become adept at looming professionally. In a video meeting, you could share a screen or start using a white board tool.

·      If people are disengaged because they have low energy, try shifting things. Ask questions, get people up and moving. I’ve often used the trick in pitches of having the potential client place their brand on a continuum of some sort. It engages their attention, gets them talking about their brand and, if they have to stand up to place an X on a piece of paper with the continuum or framework written on it, so much the better.

Some people need to give power away. I’ve told many tall white men that staying seated throughout an in-person presentation may be their best move. Talk less. Don’t dominate the conversation in any arena.

It’s hard to talk about power without talking about privilege, and that’s a topic that sets metaphorical teeth on edge, especially the teeth of people, like me, who have privilege.

But sharing power can build connections in subtle but powerful ways. I know of agencies that have lost pitches because the male boss was rude to the female members of the team.

Once we pitched a famous beverage brand and the woman who led marketing said we were the only pitch team led by women. The team who followed us was waiting in the reception area as we walked out. I saw five white men and a young women who was carrying the hand-outs.

We won that pitch.

Ways to share power.

·      Name check the women in the room. “To build on Rachel’s idea…” “As Ellen pointed out…”

·      Defer. Check in. “Did you have any questions? Would you like me to talk more about this area or move on?”

·      Do the unexpected. Don’t have the white male leaders take up all the space. Have someone else do the open and close or present the cool creative, preferably the person who made the cool creative.

Winning a pitch or closing a deal is often about more than competence, experience and creativity. It is also about the invisible but important power dynamics. Once you know what to look for, you can learn how to make it work to your advantage.

A note. I don’t name my clients, but I do want to acknowledge F. who attended this training and gave me some invaluable insights and thoughts after the session that were the inspiration for this piece. I appreciate you!