How to find an executive coach

Tips, opinions, and suggestions from an executive coach

First, figure out what kind of coaching you want.

There are generally three kinds of coaching.

1.     Remedial coaching. A top performer has some gaps in either skillset or awareness, and it’s impacting their ability to work effectively. This could be an effective sales leader with a bad temper, or a skilled creative director who doesn’t work well with women. It is often short term; 3-6 months. Usually, this is arranged and driven by HR or L&D rather than individuals.

2.     Skills or objectives-based coaching. The main reason people get coaches is to work on developing specific skills or to work against key objectives. Here the coach will do some coaching/training or suggest tools to build the skill set to reach objectives and act as an accountability partner. This can be short to medium term, depending on the situation, 3 months to a year.

3.     The advisor. This is the rarest type of coaching and, for me, the most rewarding. I call this my Consigliera role, acting as an ongoing confidential advisor to a leader. I’ve been lucky to have a number of these relationships, some of which have run for many years. Leaders have a lonely job. Often their spouses or partners don’t want to hear more about the job, especially if the spouse is carrying the burden of childcare and household management because of the leader’s long hours. CEOs and founders often have no peers, and while they can have good relationships with board members, there are limits to what is appropriate to share with them. Often, they don’t have close friends outside of work who understand their business, and so they can’t get into the weeds on tactics or specifics with friends. Of course, C Suite leaders also want to build skills and have an accountability partner, but often they need a safe, confidential place to process the tough things.

Once you know what you want, you know what to look for. The best way to get a coach is to get a referral from someone you know. Ask for referrals. Interview prospective coaches. Ask questions. Make sure they’ve done the type of coaching you want. Get a sense of what they are like, and pay attention to how you feel around them. Do they have the right blend of listening and talking for you? Do they understand your industry or role? How much experience do they have? Which of those three areas listed above do they work in most?

Other things to keep in mind:

Credentials. You don’t have to have any training or credentials to be a coach. But some coaches have advanced degrees in related subjects like psychology or social work. I didn’t get a coaching certificate until I’d been a coach for years. But I have a Masters in Transformational Leadership from a major university, which covered all the key areas I use in my coaching practice, and I didn’t start coaching until after I had that degree.

There are different organizations that offer credentials, including the International Coaching Federation or ICF. Credential holders have completed courses and passed tests and agreed to abide by a code of ethics.

However, it’s also important to know that some of these credentials can cost tens of thousands of dollars and take a chunk of time, so it’s going to carry some privilege – not everyone can pay for and take the time to get these certificates. Also, they aren’t specific to a particular industry. It’s a good shorthand, but I also look for advanced degrees and/or work experience.

A coach’s experience with a specific type of work or industry is important, whether they did that work themselves before they became coaches or have experience working with a specific group. I’ve never worked with CPAs or doctors or dentists, and I wouldn’t take on that work, but there are people who specialize in those areas. Most coaches do specialize – find out in what and make sure it’s a fit for you.

Confidentiality

Coaches should be really clear about confidentiality. Before I start an engagement, I have the client sign a document that outlines what is confidential. Basically, anything anyone says to me stays with me. The only exception is if I am concerned that a client is a danger to themselves or others, or if they are doing something illegal. I have yet to encounter any of those scenarios, so I haven’t needed to do that. I will tell a stakeholder, like a boss or board member or HR, if a person is showing up to their sessions and if I think they are committed to the process. That’s it. 

I produce lots of content, but I am careful not to talk about anything a client has told me. Some coaches will publicly refer to experiences they’ve had with clients, and if they aren’t revealing the names then they’re not breaking confidentiality, but I choose not to do that.

If a coach doesn’t bring it up confidentiality early, then ask about it.

Costs and contracts

Executive coaching is expensive. Someone told me recently that the median cost is $690 an hour. I don’t charge that much, but I understand why some do. Expect to pay. I request that clients commit to six months, since I don’t think you can change much in less time in a new coaching relationship.

Read the contracts carefully. My contracts say either of us can leave with 30 days’ notice, for any reason. That’s important because sometimes you don’t know if a relationship is a fit until you are in it. Some coaches ask for some portion of their costs up front, which can make sense, but I think the flexibility for you to leave without a financial penalty if the relationship isn’t working or you run into unexpected financial difficulties is important.

Assessments and structures

Many coaches have a very structured process, especially at the beginning of an engagement. They use assessments, 360s, interviews. I heard one coach say that he wouldn’t take on a new client if they wouldn’t agree to a very in-depth assessment – which was also, presumably, quite expensive. (Assessments are tools like Meyers-Briggs, etc, where you are told what kind of person/leader/worker/team member you are based on a series of questions.)

Personally, I think assessments can be an expensive crutch. The science behind the assessments often isn’t solid. I learn more about a person from listening to the person than from a printout that shows me what quadrant they are in. In team coaching assessments can be helpful, as any tool that reminds us that other people think, reason and feel differently than we do is useful. But I worry that too often coaches use assessments as a lucrative add on that isn’t really necessary.

360s can be very useful, but they have to be done right. I do every 360 interview myself, with total confidentiality, and I prepare in depth reports. I need to talk to a person, ask follow up questions, and be able to look for themes. None of that can be done with a survey tool, however sophisticated.

Some clients love structure, and find assessments very valuable. If you know that’s what you like, find a coach who likes structure and process, which might include lots of assessments, which could be helpful for you.

I tend to get clients who are very creative, comfortable with risk, and they don’t want lots of structure. I also believe that we all know about ourselves and what we need and that our knowing has value. Too often assessments are used as “let me, the authority, tell you who you are according to this system” rather than with curiosity: “The results say this. Does that resonate for you? Do you think that’s accurate?”

Match

When I started coaching, I only coached women who ran ad agencies. I thought I could only effectively coach someone who ran a business I had run and which I knew and understood. Later, I learned that my sweet spot was a little broader – I work best with creatives, and people who lead creatives. They may make ads, films, software or consumer products, but they are makers.

A demographic match can be great. I have a connection with women leaders quickly. But I’ve also had really effective coaching relationships with men. I’ve coached people who are much younger than I am, people who have very different political views than I do, as well as people from different races, cultures and countries. In fact, some differences can enhance the work. Coaching relationships that are cross cultural can be productive, as long as the coach is humble, aware, and has done their homework on their own privilege. What specific matches do you believe are important in your work with a coach? You get to decide, and then go look for coaches who are that.

Coaches, like others, have lots of questions about how AI will impact executive coaching. I’m not really worried about that. It may happen, of course, and there is lots of information that a new or curious leader can get about building skills or understanding different organizational models and tactics using AI.

But there is something special that can happen in an intentional space where two people can tap into the ancient tradition of listening to one another fully, with care and curiosity, to see what we can learn together. And I don’t think AI can replicate that. And that’s the part I love, and it is a privilege have that be my work.