Young

Who gets to work?

“It’s the first time a 59-year-old woman has ever been referred to as young.”

My friend said this to me as we were discussing the candidacy of Vice President Kamala Harris. Who is, indeed, significantly younger than President Biden (81) and former President Trump (78). Two decades, give or take, is a big gap, which makes Harris much younger. That context changes the cultural narrative about women aging. It is quite obvious that Harris is more physically, intellectually and mentally competent than Trump or Biden. There’s video.

The cultural narratives about who gets to work where and for how long are durable.

No woman over fifty has ever been referred to as young in the corporate circles where I work.

Over the course of my long career, I’ve watched plenty of women, many people of color, and even some white men not be able to do the work they want to do – work they are really good at – because of the narrative that we are too old to be here anymore. Older people are vaguely embarrassing, in fact, the subject of snide social media content that shows us unable to work our computers or makes fun of the socks we wear or how we part our hair or dance. Ok, I can take a joke. But the jokes are part of a barrier, that cultural narrative that we have an expiration date that is based on gender and age.

When I was sick recently, I watched lots of television, including some shows that portrayed the limitations historically put on women. The assertions that were once considered truth: Women are too weak to compete in sports, they can’t be effective lawyers or doctors, their brains can’t handle complex math or science. All of these shows took place in the bad old days, and usually the drama was provided by a plucky woman who persevered and showed the men they were wrong. Usually plucky white women.

I don’t find these shows to be uplifting. Mostly they make me sad. I think about all the women, and all the people of color, who had and have the potential to make the world better, but are boxed out of opportunity by restrictive narratives about what type of person can or cannot do a thing. They are kept out by the very real sexism, racism, and misogyny built into our system.

The plucky few who manage to make it, who were able to achieve or create or endure make for great movies or documentaries or content on social media. But what about the other 999 out of the thousand who couldn’t finish college because they had to go to work, or care for children or sick family members, or who were impacted by what their society told them they could and could not do. What inventions or new companies or medical breakthroughs don’t exist because the inventors or entrepreneurs or practitioners couldn’t get funding or backing or research grants or affordable childcare?

It is a tragedy to not be able to do the work you were meant to do in the world. Not just for the individual, but for the community, our society, our culture. Today I went to a work session with some clients, in person. As I packed up my computer and big post it notes and markers, my flask of hot tea, and started into Seattle, I felt this intense sense of gratitude. It was just a work session. But it was with clients I like, doing something I’m good at. I got to work today. And I was grateful for it. I got to do the work I choose, in spite of my age, the terrible economy in the world of advertising, all the barriers, big and small to me doing the work I do well.

In advertising anyone over fifty is old, and while there are the plucky few, there are many more who are adrift. Cobbling together freelance jobs, getting coaching certifications, moving to agencies that are not as good and doing the best work they are able because they have kids to put through college. Even people who can afford to retire might not want to retire when they have twenty or thirty years left of life and are lucky enough to have a job they enjoy.

We can reframe the narratives. No one is surprised that women will be competing in the upcoming Olympics, although they might once have been. I’ve seen shocked commentary that some of those women have actually borne children and still can run fast, or that women can win medals while menstruating. That’s just weird, but women get to play sports now, and win and people will pay money to see them.

I was with my granddaughter on Sunday when Biden withdrew from the race and endorsed Harris. I was looking at news on my phone and Ruby got out of the sandbox to lean over my shoulder to see what I was watching. I pointed to a video of Harris and said, “This woman is running for President of the United States” and found my eyes filling with tears. My granddaughter shrugged and went back to the sandbox. In her world, women can do whatever men can do, so it’s not remarkable. She hasn’t heard the stories yet. We can change the stories. I just hope we do.